5 Leadership Lessons I Learned (the Hard Way) in the Restaurant Industry

photo credit Mariano Alvarez©

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One of my fondest memories of my restaurants was when I'd arrive before dinner service to find the kitchen already bustling with energy—seasoned regulars knew the best time to show up. The feeling of joy from watching my team take on the rush without waiting for me was infectious. The sound and smell of short ribs sizzling on the Argentine grill, the clatter of dishes, and the focused hum of chefs orchestrating their daily culinary ballet—that is restaurant life. A beautiful world of controlled chaos, high pressure, and tight spaces. There's nothing quite like it.

I spent twelve years running my own restaurants. I can attest it was a master's degree in leadership, resilience, and the art of juggling flaming torches with a smile while riding a unicycle in the Mojave Desert. Looking back, I realize that those years taught me some invaluable lessons about leadership, lessons that go beyond the kitchen and apply to any field.

Today, I’d like to share some insights I gathered from my years in the business. Although these are my experiences from the culinary world, I truly believe they apply to all areas of life.

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1. Know Your Strengths (and Your Limits):

In the restaurant world, you must learn to wear many hats. Chef, manager, accountant, marketer, therapist—for both customers and staff—you name it. I’ve probably done them all at some point. But I quickly learned that trying to be everything to everyone was a sure path to exhaustion and disillusionment.

After year two, with systems established and a solid team in place, I stepped out of the kitchen more. This gave my team a sense of ownership of the kitchen during peak hours and gave me a chance to connect with guests and make their experience more memorable.

The key is to identify your strengths and focus your energy. It was the creative side for me—designing menus, crafting dishes, connecting with customers. The operational stuff? Not so much. That's where building a strong team came in.

2. Build a Team That Feels Like Family:

In the restaurant industry, we like to say your team is everything. They're the ones who have your back during the dinner rush, who share the passion for creating memorable experiences, and who become your support system through the inevitable ups and downs. But this applies to any industry or organization. It’s your team who responds when it’s crunch time during high season or when it’s time to deliver to the client based on project specs.

I’ve got hundreds of anecdotes of my team pulling together during crunch time. One that stands out is from a particularly chaotic wedding event. While a clear hierarchy is essential in a kitchen, I also believe in empowering my team to support each other, regardless of their roles.

During a wedding event, the bride's father's impromptu 20-minute speech threw off our service schedule. Our grill master immediately reorganized the proteins while I negotiated the timing with the wedding coordinator. We finished seamlessly, with perfectly cooked dishes that astounded the guests.

Building that level of trust and camaraderie didn't happen by accident. We spent more than half our waking hours with each other, and because of it, we celebrated our weddings, birthdays, and anniversaries. We supported each other through breakups, divorces, and family emergencies. We’d hugged each other every New Year’s. And on some summer nights, we’d even crack open a beer to celebrate the evening’s rush.

I learned that prioritizing and trusting my team was just as important as taking care of my customers. It meant creating a safe and supportive environment for them to step up, recognizing their contributions, and fostering a sense of camaraderie. After all, when your team thrives, so does your business.

3. Master the Art of Energy Management:

Running a restaurant is a marathon, not a sprint. It's a constant juggling act that demands physical, mental, and emotional stamina. I learned the hard way that running on fumes leads to crashing and burning faster than you can sear a tuna steak.

When invited to organize Guanajuato's first wine festival, I immediately said yes—an event for 1,200 people. While the festival was a success, I survived on four extra-large Red Bulls daily for six months. My body paid the price, and my restaurant's sales slipped significantly. I learned that even the most exciting projects require a sustainable pace.

That's where energy management comes in. It's about recognizing your own rhythms, knowing when to push and when to pull back, and prioritizing self-care. It's about finding ways to recharge your batteries so you can show up fully for your team and your customers.

4. Embrace the Power of Mindfulness:

While mindfulness might seem a bit "out there" for some, it's simply about being aware of what's happening inside you—your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It's a secret weapon, especially in high-pressure environments like a restaurant. For me, cultivating mindfulness started with a simple practice: taking three deep breaths before responding to any challenging guest situation. Whether it was a frustrated customer, a kitchen mishap, or a sudden rush, those breaths helped me create a space between the trigger and my reaction.

Being mindful helped me stay grounded and better assess difficult situations, especially with upset guests. By focusing on hospitality rather than blame, these situations often ended with guests apologizing and leaving generous tips—a win for everyone.

5. Never Lose Sight of Your "Why":

In the daily grind, it's easy to lose sight of why you started in the first place. But remembering your "why"—your passion, your purpose, your values—is what keeps you going when things get tough.

Preparing food and serving it to another person has always been profoundly significant. It creates a space where people connect and celebrate. In my family culture, food is the cause of celebration and unity. Even as a kid, I remember being called to the table while still being grounded, a sign of truce and belonging in spite of difficult times.

For me, food is about building community and is part of my language of care and giving. Connecting to that purpose fueled my passion and helped me navigate the challenges.

These gold nuggets from the trenches aren't just for chefs and restaurateurs. They're for anyone who wants to lead authentically, build a strong team, and navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.

Shifting Into Leadership Awareness

As you navigate the complexities of your own 'culinary ballet,' I invite you to reflect on these lessons. You likely have your own versions of these stories—moments of triumph, challenges overcome, and wisdom earned through experience. The beauty of leadership is that while our paths may differ, we're all learning to create something remarkable with the ingredients life gives us.

Start small: Tomorrow, try taking those three mindful breaths before responding to a challenging situation. Notice how it affects your decision-making. Ask yourself: What's one tradition you could start with your team that would strengthen your bonds? What's your equivalent of the 'sizzle of the grill'—that moment in your work that reminds you of your 'why'? Leadership, like cooking, is both an art and a practice.

The key is to keep showing up, stay curious, and remember that every challenge is an opportunity to create something remarkable.