Authenticity Shines When You Are Aligned With Core Values
Photo by Warren on Unsplash
A Journey Beyond Good and Bad to Authentic Living
In our quest for personal and professional growth, we are often confronted with the question of being 'good or bad' or being 'right or wrong.' And we ask ourselves questions like 'Am I being a good person?' or 'Am I doing the right thing here?' because, in the end, we all want to 'do right' by others and by ourselves. And so we end up evaluating ourselves, judging ourselves as a marker of moral failing, where we are at fault, not good enough, or we are deficient in some way — mostly because of some deviation from the path of where 'we should be.'
But what if we reimagined this ‘fault’ or ‘deficiency’ not as a transgression against an external set of rules but as a misalignment between our actions and our deepest core values? This perspective shift opens up a transformative path to living authentically, where true fulfillment lies in aligning our daily actions with who we are at our core.
The Essence of Alignment
At the heart of this journey of discovery and growth lies the ethos of SHIFT in Life, which is the belief that each of us has a set of core values that define our true essence. These values are our anchors during turbulent times and our compass in the fog of indecision, guiding us through life's complexities and challenges. However, when our actions stray from these values, we experience a form of moral failing—or what can be seen as falling short of some standard or being deficient in some way of some ideal—either being a signal that we are out of alignment with our true selves.
Understanding Moral Failing as Misalignment
The concept of moral failing carries a sense of judgment against a generally accepted set of standards. Yet, viewing this supposed ‘falling short’ through the lens of misalignment offers a more compassionate and constructive approach to self-evaluation and a reference point for growth. It suggests that our failings are not a result of inherent flaws but occur when we lose sight of our core values. This perspective encourages introspection and personal responsibility, urging us to realign our actions with our deepest truths.
Those Guiding the Way
Several thought leaders and authors have explored themes closely related to living in alignment with one's core values. Their works, while not always using the term 'moral failing,' delve into the importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and integrity in achieving a fulfilling life.
The concept that moral failing is a deviation from one's core values rather than a transgression against a set of external rules is a nuanced perspective that engages various fields, including philosophy, psychology, and spirituality. While framing it this way may not be exactly the approach taken by many works, several authors and books explore themes closely related to it, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and integrity in living a fulfilling life. Here are a few notable works and authors that, while may not use the term 'moral failing' in this context, delve into concepts that resonate with this idea:
Brené Brown: The Power of Authenticity
Brené Brown's research on vulnerability and authenticity underscores the courage it takes to live aligned with our values. Her books, such as 'The Gifts of Imperfection,' emphasize that true belonging and joy stem from being authentic to ourselves, highlighting the discord that arises from betraying our own values.
M. Scott Peck: The Journey of Growth
In 'The Road Less Traveled,' Peck explores how self-deception and avoidance of personal growth lead to suffering. He advocates for discipline and love as pathways to resolving inner conflicts and aligning our lives with our true nature.
Richard Rohr: Embracing Our True Self
'Falling Upward' by Richard Rohr discusses the concept of the two halves of life, where the second half is about moving towards our true self. Rohr's insights into Christian mysticism provide a framework for understanding how aligning with our core values leads to spiritual and personal maturity.
Mark Nepo: Daily Meditations for Authentic Living
'The Book of Awakening' offers reflections on becoming more authentically ourselves. Nepo's meditations encourage us to live in accordance with our innermost truths, illustrating the transformative power of alignment.
Ken Wilber and Co-authors: Integral Life Practice
'Integral Life Practice' presents a holistic approach to personal development, emphasizing the importance of aligning various aspects of our life with our core values. This comprehensive guide offers practical tools for living a balanced and authentic life.
Simon Sinek: Finding Purpose
Though Simon Sinek's 'Start with Why' focuses on leadership and organizational culture, its principles of purpose-driven action resonate deeply with the concept of alignment. Finding and leading with our 'why' ensures that our actions reflect our core beliefs and values.
Living Authentically: The Path Forward
The journey toward aligning our actions with our core values is both challenging and deeply rewarding. It requires us to be honest with ourselves, to confront uncomfortable truths, and to take responsibility for realigning our lives. This process is not about adhering to an external set of standards but about honoring our true essence.
Strategies for Alignment
In my experience as a leadership and executive coach, there are some conversations that will invariably come up during a coaching engagement. Below is a list of these critical conversations that need to be had, and not necessarily in this particular order, when searching for true personal growth:
Identify Your Core Values: Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What principles guide your decisions and actions? Identifying these values is the first step toward alignment.
Assess Your Current Alignment: Look at your life and actions through the lens of your core values. Where do you see misalignments? Recognizing these areas is crucial for change.
Set Intentions for Realignment: Choose one or two areas to focus on and set clear intentions on how you can align your actions with your values. This might involve changing habits, making different choices, or setting boundaries.
Reflect and Adjust: Alignment is an ongoing process. Regularly reflect on your progress and make adjustments as needed. Celebrate your successes and learn from the challenges.
Seek Support: Engaging with a coach, mentor, or supportive community can provide guidance and accountability as you work toward realignment.
The advantage of working specifically with a coach is the personalized focus on your needs and the intentional approach used to generate the results you are after within a shorter time frame. In my experience, when you start working with a coach that is the right fit for you, be ready to be amazed at what you’re capable of accomplishing.
Embracing a Values-Driven Life
Reimagining 'falling short' as a deviation from our core values rather than a moral failing against external standards offers a path to reevaluate the norms and labels that we’ve inherited and internalized during the course of our lives, encouraging a deeper exploration of our true selves. The journey of lasting growth and transformation is not about adhering to an external set of standards but honoring our essence.
Take this time as an invitation to reflect on the areas of your life or career where you feel you are 'falling short.' I invite you to be curious and courageous and ask yourself where that feeling comes from and what standard you are measuring yourself against.
If you are ready to explore this topic and uncover ways to break free from what is holding you back, please get in touch by setting up a free consultation to discover if I am the right fit for you and how we can work together.
