Forget Accountability: Ownership is the Liberating Leap Towards True Growth

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

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In the wide range of topics that I cover during my coaching, the idea of accountability and ownership often become the north stars guiding our paths. But as we navigate these, it is critical that we distinguish the two, not just in semantics but in the essence they bring out in us. This is not just an academic point I’m trying to make; it is deeply personal and profoundly transformative. It’s about shifting paradigms from the traditionally delineated box of accountability to the expansive realm of ownership.

Here’s my take on my journey, sparked by seemingly simple conversations that kept coming up and led me to a thought. My hope is that this journey from accountability to ownership might just be the key to unlocking new levels of leadership and personal fulfillment for you.

I was having a conversation with a friend when I heard them say, ‘I need to hold myself more accountable,’ before going on to list the to-dos that come after the ‘in order to’ that followed. And it struck me. Do we have to hold ourselves accountable? And once we do, what’s next? What’s the punishment or consequences if we don’t or if we fall short?

The Weight of Accountability

I value accountability and admire people who take this on for themselves or others. But accountability, for all its worth, often carries with it an undercurrent of impending judgment—a sense that ‘someone must pay’ if things go ‘wrong.’ 

As a society, we like to hold leaders accountable for their actions. This was starkly highlighted to me back in my corporate days when my Senior VP, in a moment of candor, said to me, “heads will roll if you screw up.” This management approach to personal responsibility, where the focus is primarily on avoiding negative outcomes, seems inherently flawed, if not stifling and intimidating. The exact opposite of what we want to inspire in those around us as leaders—either personally at home or professionally at the office.

Conversely, with accountability, I don’t get a sense of reward when things go right. The accolades for accountability are conspicuously absent. For management, success is often met with a nod towards duty: “That’s what you’re here for,” or “That’s what you get paid the big bucks for,” is often heard, diminishing the achievement to a mere fulfillment of obligations.

This reflection leads me to think if accountability, with its binary of right and wrong, is truly the apex of personal and professional stewardship. Or is there a more empowering alternative for leaders?

A Paradigm of Empowerment

This is where the concept of ‘ownership’ enters. It offers a refreshing narrative that goes beyond fault and punishment.’ It is more of a matter of fact. Ownership is about embracing the entirety of our actions and their consequences—good or bad. It’s acknowledging our role in the outcomes of our lives without the shadow of guilt or blame. With ownership, there’s a profound sense of redemption and possibility. 

Ownership doesn’t just relate to the tangible; it encompasses all of the components of who we are. If I did something, I own it. If I said something, I own it. I own who I am. I own my choices, my goals, my wins, my lessons, my path, my growth, my losses, my mistakes, my apologies, my feelings, my emotions, my reactions, my pain, my grief, my happiness, and my joy. And if I change my mind somewhere along the way, I own that too.  

“Take ownership of every decision you make because you will be held responsible for the film, whether good or bad.”

—David Fincher, American film director

The Freedom of Ownership

When I think about it, ownership is about creation, growth, and sitting behind the steering wheel of our lives firmly and comfortably in our hands. When we own our actions and their results, we say, “This is me, for better or worse, always aiming for the better. With the wins and the lessons. And I have the power to shape my destiny.”

Lastly, ownership is a testament to our integrity, offering a foundation of wholeness and belonging, where we inherently know on our own, without external validation, opinion, or criticism, of what is already ours to own.

The comment that my Senior VP made to me stayed with me for several weeks. One day, when I realized that I was miserable in that environment; that I was working to impress management instead of myself; that I was hoping for mentorship in the areas where I needed growth, and wasn’t getting it, things changed for me. I owned my happiness, my well-being, and my sense of self-worth. Was I getting what I needed? No. So why keep trying to squeeze this rock for juice, is what I asked myself. A few months after that, I resigned, moved to Mexico, and ended up creating a life doing what I loved the most for 13 years that I would have never ever dreamed of. But that’s a story for another time…

Embracing Ownership

As we stand at the crossroads of accountability and ownership, it’s clear that the path to true leadership and personal fulfillment doesn’t lie in the external validation of our actions but in the profound acceptance and acknowledgment of our inherent power to create, choose, and change. 

• Reflect on Your Journey: Consider moments when accountability added to your weight rather than liberating you from it. How could embracing ownership have changed your perspective and outcome?

• Growth Through Ownership: Understand that with ownership comes the limitless potential for growth. It’s not about right or wrong but about learning and evolving.

• Empowerment Through Responsibility: True empowerment stems from owning your actions and their consequences, allowing for leadership that inspires integrity and authenticity.

• Actionable Steps Towards Ownership: I invite you to start asking yourself, “What areas can I own more fully in my life?” Let this question guide your actions and decisions.

• Inspire Through Example: Lead by example, showing that ownership is not just about taking responsibility but about actively shaping the world around us through our choices and actions.

Journey Towards Empowerment

Ownership isn't just a practice; it's a transformation that begins with a single, deliberate step toward embracing the fullness of our potential. As we embrace ownership in all aspects of our lives, we unlock a level of agency and freedom previously unavailable to us. It’s a journey worth taking on, not just for the leaders we aspire to become but for the individuals we already are each day, choosing to be better, to do better, and to own our paths with courage and conviction.

“Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

—Toni Morrison, American Nobel Prize winner for Literature

Are you ready to take the leap from accountability to ownership? Let's have conversations like the one that triggered this article, and let’s embark together on this transformative journey of transitioning from mere accountability to full-on ownership of who you are at the core.

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