Accountability Hinders True Potential
Cultivating All Aspects of Who We Are
photo by Mariano Alvarez©
______________________________
We've been misled. Accountability, while often seen as the key to responsibility and growth, is only half the story. In reality, it’s a limited framework that often does more harm than good.
What if we embraced a different approach instead of constantly measuring ourselves against some external yardstick? One that encourages us to own all aspects of who we are—the wins, the stumbles, the lessons, the messy, glorious human experience? That's what I want to explore in this article: the power of Ownership.
The Hot Potato Effect of Accountability
The thing with accountability is that it creates a binary system of winners and losers, of good and bad people, where our worth is tied to external achievements and not inner contemplation.
It's no wonder we fear failure. It's the "hot potato" effect—that frantic scramble to avoid blame and pass the buck when things go wrong.
You know exactly what I mean if you've ever played musical chairs. Who wants to be the one left standing after the music ends and all the chairs have been taken? I bet you can remember the feeling. It gets nasty at the end when only one chair and two people are standing.
This mindset promotes scarcity and, naturally, stifles creativity and innovation because we are more focused on "not losing" rather than being our best.
The intense focus on accountability—on "doing what's needed to be done" to achieve the project objectives, regardless of the circumstances—creates an unhealthy environment for ourselves and the organization.
Meaning of Truly Owning Our Actions
On the other hand, Ownership is about the empowerment of embracing the entirety of our actions and their results—without judgment or blame. It's about acknowledging our role in the outcomes of our lives and taking responsibility for our choices, whether they lead to success or new lessons. This is key to unlocking our true potential.
It's about embracing a cycle of experimentation, learning, and growth. Taking the scientific approach of trial and error leads to a more informed trial and new outcomes. Rinse and repeat.
You can also think of it like owning a house. We invest in our homes, maintain them, and make improvements. We don't do these things because we're afraid of being punished if we don't. We do it because we want to see our investment grow and thrive.
Ownership is about taking stock of present circumstances, stakeholders, and contributors and having a vision, a strategy, and a plan to execute—all with the purpose of improving and growing what we own, just like an investment.
It's very similar when it comes to ourselves. When we own ourselves, we see our minds and bodies as assets and our lives as projects worthy of investment. We prioritize our well-being, acknowledge our limitations, develop our areas of potential, play to our strengths, and make choices that support our growth—never just "do what it takes to get things done."
I've been there, and now I know. When I was in corporate, as a consultant, leading an incredibly complex project under high pressure, with an unrealistic budget and timeline and a demanding client, I did not practice self-ownership at all.
Looking back on it, I wasn't owning my limitations, my body, or my feelings. I was running on fumes, driven by a fear of failure and a desperate need to prove myself. If I had embraced an ownership mindset, I would have set boundaries, communicated my needs, and prioritized my well-being.
Ownership is about recognizing that we are complex beings with strengths, weaknesses, limitations, preferences, and inherent motivation. It's about the relief that comes from accepting all parts of ourselves, knowing that we don't have to be perfect and can be at peace with who we are or the results we are getting. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be but here, just as I am.
Owning All Parts of Ourselves and Redefining Success
When we embrace Ownership, we move beyond the limitations of the accountability mindset. We no longer see ourselves as simply "good/bad" or "successful/failures." Instead, we recognize that we are a complex mix of strengths and limitations, successes and failures. This allows us to approach challenges with curiosity and a willingness to learn rather than fear and defensiveness.
If public speaking isn't your forte, owning this might mean seeking help from a coach or joining a Toastmasters club. You might discover a hidden talent, or you might realize that public speaking isn't for you, and that's okay too. Either way, you're taking ownership of your strengths and limitations.
Ownership shifts our focus from external validation to internal understanding and growth. Instead of competing with others, we compare ourselves to past versions of ourselves, striving to learn and improve continuously. This redefines success as a personal journey of self-discovery rather than a race to the finish line, resulting in a new perspective that liberates us from many limiting beliefs and allows us to focus on our personal growth.
Accountability Redefined & Finding the Balance
While accountability has its place, it must be redefined to support an ownership mindset. Instead of being a tool for punishment and blame, it should be a framework for learning and growth.
Setting goals and measuring progress are essential, and someone must ultimately be accountable. But instead of holding that person to account in a way that triggers defensiveness, the question should be: How can we support the team to ensure the endeavor's success? The accountable person can then ensure integrity in the steps taken.
In my experience, accountability often comes with an undercurrent of fear and reward, like when my boss's boss, one of the top leaders in North America, said to me once. In an attempt to make me feel welcome, he said something that had the opposite effect. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm glad you're now part of the team; I've heard good things about you. Welcome to the team, just don't screw up!".
He probably meant well, but all I heard was a thinly veiled threat. It felt transactional like my place on the team was conditional on my ability to deliver. This kind of fear-based "accountability" is prevalent in organizations, stifling creativity and innovation. We must move away from this carrot-and-stick model and embrace a more supportive and collaborative approach. (I wrote another article about how a "do nothing" approach can incubate creativity)
What I needed in that situation wasn't a conditional welcome; it was support and reassurance. I needed a team above me that had my back, leaders who would run interference for me in areas where I had no control. I was looking for a "we're in this together" mentality that called for everyone to do what they could to ensure the project's success, including supporting me. Instead, I was left out in the cold to fend for myself with whatever means I had available during status calls with the client. That didn't feel empowering, safe, or like I was truly part of the team. As a side note, it goes without saying that I left that position shortly after. But by then, it had already taken a toll on me, and my body was sending me receipts.
Shifting the System to Ownership as a Catalyst for Change
An ownership mindset can be a powerful catalyst for change, both individually and systemically. When we embrace Ownership, we challenge existing power structures and systems that rely on blame and punishment. We create space for open communication, collaboration, and mutual support.
A good way to promote an ownership mindset for individuals, teams, organizations, or families is to know what is most important to us and what we hold dear—this does require honesty with oneself and others. Then, take stock and acknowledge strengths, motivators, aspirations, weaknesses, assumptions, biases, and limitations.
This means having honest conversations—with yourself, your team, your organization, or your family. Ask them what they need from you to achieve the desired results. Get into the weeds if you have to, and have a healthy debate around what's realistic and what's not. Be the conduit for conversation and the team's biggest advocate for their success. This creates a sense of shared responsibility and encourages everyone to take ownership of their role in the project.
The Interconnectedness of Ownership
Ownership is not just about taking responsibility for our own actions; it's also about recognizing our interconnectedness and taking responsibility for our impact on others and the world around us.
Just as we don't throw trash in our backyards, we shouldn't throw trash in our neighborhoods or cities. We act that way because we see it as OUR neighborhood, OUR city. It's about recognizing that we are all part of a larger ecosystem and that our actions have ripple effects.
This interconnectedness also applies to our relationships with others. When we communicate with others, owning our communication style can be transformative. For example, avoid using adjectives and labels when referring to the person; instead, address the person's behavior. Another example could be avoiding inflammatory extremes such as "You always..." or "You never..." Instead, refer to the exact situation in that moment without bringing in the past. We can actively listen to understand the other person's perspective, even if we disagree. This doesn't mean we have to be doormats or avoid conflict, but it does mean approaching disagreements with curiosity to understand and find common ground.
Cultivating Ownership in Practical Terms
Cultivating an ownership mindset requires conscious effort and a willingness to challenge assumptions and beliefs. It's about moving beyond the blame game and embracing the idea that one has the power to shape one's life and contribute to a better world.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you embark on this journey:
Develop self-compassion: Recognize that you are not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up when you stumble, be kind and understanding to yourself, like you would with a friend.
Practice active listening and empathy: Seek to understand others' perspectives and experiences. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see the world through their eyes.
Seek feedback and learn from mistakes: View mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Be bold, ask for feedback, and be open to hearing what others have to say, even if it's different from what you want to hear.
Create a culture of open communication: Encourage open and honest communication in all your relationships. This means creating a safe space for people to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or reprisal.
Before You Go
What resonated with you most about Ownership?
Where can you start practicing Ownership in your own life?
Identify one area where you can shift from accountability to Ownership.
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
______________________________
Mariano is a transformational leadership coach specializing in Personal Branding, Strategic Leadership, and Creative Action. Through his signature SHIFT approach, he helps leaders discover authentic perspectives that transform how they see themselves and their potential. His clients consistently report gaining both clarity of purpose and practical strategies that inspire meaningful action.
Ready to explore your leadership potential? Schedule a complimentary consultation to discover how we can work together toward your goals.
